What do you do when your Facebook friend is arrested?

Two days after then-Hoboken Mayor Peter Cammarano was arrested on corruption charges, Jay Lassiter, a South Jersey political activist, publicly dropped him from his Facebook friends.

"Please don't re-friend me until after you've resigned," Lassiter wrote on Cammarano's wall on July 25 - a message visible to hundreds of the disgraced mayor's Facebook friends. It was supposed to be one of those "who's coming with me?" moments. 

"It didn't go over like I thought it would.  I thought I was going to lead the parade," said Lassiter.  "I actually got snarky notes by Cammarano supporters telling me what a worthless South Jersey piece of (expletive) I was."

Outside of cyberspace, Cammarano, 32, saw his political career come to an abrupt end and his associations evaporate after he was arrested for allegedly taking bribes from an FBI informant posing as a developer. 

But that obligatory public distancing did not extend to Facebook, where many politicians, insiders and media types (including this reporter) remain Cammarano's "friends" - if only out of morbid curiosity over whether he'll update his profile or out of neglect in pruning their own profiles.  

Many politicians have embraced social networking technology, but, as the July 23 corruption sting demonstrates, there is no standard for online etiquette when your online friend has been arrested.  Some politicians (or the staffers who administrate their profiles) do "defriend" ethically troubled Facebook associates, while the thought doesn't cross others' minds.  

Senate President Richard Codey (D-Roseland) is still Facebook friends with Cammarano.

"I think he's suffered enough," said Codey, who added that he tries to be humorous and non-political on his profile.  "I try to be different, as you know if you ever read any of the things I put on there.  I try not to be political, and do different things to get a chuckle sometimes, lighten up somebody's day."

Assemblywoman Alison Littell McHose (R-Franklin Twp) remains Facebook friends with Cammarano, and with former Assemblyman Lou Manzo (D-Jersey City), who was arrested in the same sting.

"I didn't defriend either one of them. That wasn't something I consciously thought about doing," said McHose, who has 1,233 friends.  "I was curious to see whether it would be a means for them to reach out to supporters."

Neither Cammarano nor Manzo have written any messages on their profiles since their arrests.  Assemblyman Anthony Chiappone (D-Bayonne), who was indicted along with his wife for allegedly funneling checks to legislative aides into his personal and campaign bank accounts, is a different story.

One day after his indictment, Chiappone proclaimed his innocence and vowed to run for reelection on his Facebook profile.  He even recommended that users become friends with his defense attorney. 

Chiappone found only support from his Facebook friends.  A few days later, his father died, and users flooded his profile with messages of condolence. 

"I haven't deleted any comments. Whoever has posted there is posted," said Chiappone, whose progress in the online game Farmville is also detailed for anyone interested enough to read it. "I haven't seen anybody who has defriended me."

Facebook is discrete when it comes to defriending.  No automatic message is sent to the jilted party informing them of their loss of a friend.  For instance, Cammarano was not informed when Assemblyman Reid Gusciora (D-Princeton) defriended him.

"I really felt betrayed by Cammarano. Here's some rising star, really engaging -- someone you could see could be a statewide player," said Gusciora. 

What triggered the defriending, however, was not just Cammarano's arrest, but the statements the federal criminal complaint says his co-defendent, Michael Schaffer, made while sitting with Cammarano and the FBI's informant. 

"I was reading the transcript where he was talking about environmentalists. [Schaffer said the environmentalists were ‘kooks,'" said Gusciora. "I was like ‘That's it, now he's off my Facebook page."

Still, Gusciora remains Facebook friends with Chiappone. 

"I'm willing to give Chiappone the benefit of the doubt.  I'll see what happens and keep him on there until he's either convicted or resigned.  I reserve the right to defriend someone if they've crossed the line," he said.

As of right now, there aren't any pitfalls to having an online relationship with an arrested or indicted official, said Monmouth University pollster and political science professor Patrick Murray. 

"The person who decides to start something and make a stink about this is almost certainly going to have somebody on his or her friends list that is equally embarrassing," said Murray.

The federal corruption trial of former Bergen County Democratic Chairman Joseph Ferriero begins on October 1, but that hasn't scared off some of his Facebook friends.  Julie O'Brien and Vernon Walton, two Democratic Freeholders up for re-election this year, are still friends of Ferriero, as are U.S. Sen. Robert Menendez (D-Hoboken) and U.S. Rep. Bill Pascrell (D-Paterson).

Even Republican gubernatorial nominee Chris Christie - who built his political career on his corruption busting record as U.S. Attorney - is friends with former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard B. Kerik, who has been indicted on multiple federal charges. 

Lassiter, however, is more careful than most politicians.  He's familiar with Facebook flaps, having caused a minor stir by promoting an online video for U.S. Rep. Rob Andrews's (D-Haddon Heights) 2008 U.S. Senate campaign with the tagline "free booze and everyone gets laid." 

Lassiter thinks that politicians should be more careful about who their friends are online. 

"It's just about who do you lie down with in cyber space...  The appearance of a relationship is convincing enough," he said.  "I guess we take a risk. Every person we friend could end up being The Unabomber."

Note: Matt Friedman is Facebook friends with Cammarano, Chiappone and Kerik.  He does not plan to defriend them.