Birds of a feather

And now we go back in time, to Mr. Dembo's eighth grade science class and JHS 278, and a sixteen millimeter film about the seasonal migration of a very special species of ‘birds' -- the Politicus Presidentius Candidatus. This year, the migration started particularly early....

In the quadrennial running of "the presidential candidates" [Politicus Presidentius Candidatus], within both "Republicanus" and ‘Democraticus' varieties, there seems to be one common similarity amongst the species: it is how those who previously attacked opponents viciously during their year long migration around the country in search of the nourishment of "votes," now lavish praise upon the most popular presidential candidate, as they settle in for a brief gathering before the hard "political season."

This year, predictably, the Politicus Presidentius Candidatus Democratus gathered in Denver. While the Politicus Presidentius Candidatus Republicanus, alighted in St. Paul. Curiously, and biologists do not know why, every four years each variety seems to settle in a different geographical environmental niche. This is unlike the penguins as seen in "March of The Penguins," who return each year to the same cold, heartless environment. Some scientists believe that this is because the Presidentius Candidatus use up all the resources in that niche, and are not welcomed back.

This lavishing of praise seems to be a necessary species-specific activity, necessary for the successful return of the most popular ‘presidential candidate' to the spawning ground once again of Washington, D.C. There, the most successful creature amongst them, will lay eggs, and build a nest, in preparation for yet another similar migration after four years. But first each must choose a "running mate" -- hopefully one that it will be with for at least the entire four years.

Amongst the Politicus Presidentius Candidatus Democratus species, the most successful candidate, the Obamus Chicagosus Senatorus is known for its large ears, boisterous voice, and popularity amongst the young. Praise was lavished upon him by the previous opponent, Hilarius Clintonius Senatorus [once a species from Arkansas, now from the New York region]. She was not chosen as his ‘running mate', which was not popular amongst the others of her variety. Perhaps they will get over it. For the running mate of Obamus Chicagosus, he has chosen an older mate, Bidenus Delawarus Senatorus -- known for verbosity, and a great deal of experience with species abroad, and odd looking plumage on his head. For example, the Bidenus Delawarus previously attacked Obamus Chicagosus for "lack of experience," and now lavishes constant praise. A strange undefinable activity.

With the Politicus Presidentius Candidatus Republicanus, the most successful of the species this season has been the McCainus Arizonius Senatorus, an older variety of the species. The McCainus Arizonius is known for his temper, his advanced age, and tendency to independently fly both "left" and "right" -- this sometimes angers other members of his "Republicanus bevy." McCainus Arizonius has chosen for his running mate, a species from outside the normal ‘running mate' rounds, the Palinius Alaskasius Gubernatorius. Known for her bright beautiful plumage and her ability to adapt to cold environments.

Over the next eight weeks, either Obamus Chicagosus Senatorus and Bidenus Delawarus Senatorus or McCainus Arizonius Senatorus and Palinius Alaskasius Gubernatorius will migrate successfully back to Washington, to replace Bushius Presidentius Republicanus -- known for his unpopularity amongst his species, his wide eyed clueless stares, and his sometime ability to have his head up his posterior.

And in four years, this process amongst the species beings anew!

Joey Novick is an attorney, professional stand-up comedian, professional keynote speaker, and a former 12 year Councilman in Flemington, NJ. From 1996-2000, he served as the County Chair of the Hunterdon County Democratic Committee. As a stand-up comedian and improv actor, Joey has appeared on MTV, Comedy Central, Rascal's Comedy Hour and One Life to Live, and most recently, with "Laughing Liberally". He has opened in concert and at comedy club dates for such comedy notables as Jerry Seinfeld, Robert Klein, Lewis Black, Rosie O'Donnell and Ray Romano. He is currently developing a one-man show about life, laughter and local government in the Garden State, tentatively entitled, "Trentoon".

His blog, NJPoliticsUnusual.com, has been informing NJ's political insiders for almost "two-thirds of a fiftieth of a century," and has recognized by Campaigns & Elections and SNJ Business People. The New York Times, AP Newswire, Washington Post, Newark Star-Ledger, ABC News and National Public Radio have all been kind enough to mention his work in comedy and politics every now and then. Joey appears monthly on News-12's "Power & Politics", sharing his keen insights on NJ's elected officials, and has chaired a panel on political humor for the New Jersey State League of Municipalities every year since 1995. He has taken his political humor on the road across the nation, appearing at state municipal league conferences in New York, Maine, Connecticut, Nevada, West Virginia, New Mexico, Colorado, Kentucky and Rhode Island; as well as at the National League of Cities Conference. His mother, Pearl, lives in Florida, plays canasta almost every day, and is very glad Joey visits her on a regular basis.