Tale of the Tape: Why the New York Yankees will win the World Series.

By Joey Novick | October 28th, 2009 - 7:22am
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YankeesThe last time the New York Yankees played the Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series, "The House That Ruth Built" was a mere-twentysomething, no stadiums had corporate names, and the Yankees beat the Phillies 4-0.

In the ensuing 60 years, much has happened.

 

So, let’s compare New York and Philadelphia in nine random categories, and see which town measures up.  
 
PHILADELPHIA VS. NEW YORK
RIVER:
Delaware vs. Hudson
 
Philly: Named for an Indian tribe who was already in America.
NY: Named for a Dutch explorer who came from hundreds of miles away.
 
Edge: New York
FOOD:
Cheese Steak & Cream Cheese  vs.  Hot Dog & Cheese Cake
 
Nathan’s New York hot dogs known world wide; and cream cheese is key ingredient in Cheese Cake. Cheese steak tougher to eat at a ball park, but you only need one.

Edge: TOSS UP

FAMOUS COMEDIANS who are Black, Jewish and Chubby:
Bill Cosby, David Brenner,  Curly Joe DeRita  vs.
Jerry Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy, Jackie Gleason
 
Edge: Slight edge to New York by a “Bang zoom to the Moon, Alice.” DeRita was one of the fake Curly’s, not even a real Stooge.

New Year’s Eve Host:
Dick Clark  vs. Guy Lombardo
 
Dick Clark’s Rockin’ Eve vs. Lombardo’s band called the “Royal Canadians”? Not even an American. No contest.
 
Edge: Philadelphia
Airports named after famous people:
Philadelphia International Airport vs. LaGuardia Airport and JFK Airport.
 
Philly could not find a famous dead guy to name their airport after? What about Franklin? You name everything else after him.
NY: A mayor and a president trumps “international”.
 
Edge: New York
Patriotic Symbol:
Liberty Bell vs. Statue of Liberty
 
NY: On display in the Harbor, welcomes the tired, the poor and the wretched refuse yearning to breath free.  
Philly: Keeps it locked up, and besides, it has a crack in it. Spend a couple of bucks, fix that thing.

Edge: New York
Signers of Declaration of Independence:
Ben Franklin vs. Lewis Morris, Francis Lewis, Philip Livingston, William Floyd
 
The inventor of electricity had time to fly a kite, invent the pot belly stove, and then still kick back with hot 18th century chicks.
NY: Who are these four guys?
 
Edge: Philadelphia
Team Symbol:
Big Red “P” vs. The Yankee Pinstripes.
 
NY: Copied worldwide.
Philly: A big red “P”. Yeah, like that’s creative.
 
Edge: New York
Bridge Connected to New Jersey:
Ben Franklin Bridge vs. Outerbridge Crossing
 
Philly: Named for you know who.
NY: “Outerbridge Crossing”, named for Eugenius Harvey Outerbridge. Who is this guy?
 
Edge: Philadelphia
Tale of the Tape: New York 5, Philadelphia 3. One tie.

Edge: New York

My prediction: Yankees in 6.

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Wake-Up Call

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