McCain Economic Stimulus Plan Finally Revealed

Via AP Newswire
 
The McCain Campaign finally released its long-awaited Economic Stimulus Plan today at a campaign event in Boston, Massachusetts -- a state where the Arizona Senator trails Senator Barack Obama by more than 17 points, according to the latest Rasmussen polling data. “My friends, the fundamentals of our campaign in the Bay State are sound,” declared McCain. “And our economic plan will take a hatchet to budget earmarks. Maverick. Maverick. And you will know their names…Maverick.”
 
At a press conference after the event, McCain campaign spokesperson Nancy Pfotenhauer issued a correction, saying “the Senator was only supposed to say ‘Maverick’ twice, and not three times.”
 
The Economic Stimulus Plan, as political pundits had predicted, contained a combination of tax cuts for billionaires, more tax cuts for millionaires, and not that much for thousandaires. There were also spending freezes, some more reform/maverick stuff, an unspecified amount of gobbly-gook, and some neat-sounding acronyms. But the cost of the plan stumped spokesperson Pfotenhauer. "Well I don't have the official estimate in front of me but obviously…it’s going to cost some amount of money over that period of time,” said Pfotenhauer on MSNBC. But, trying to change the subject, she did say: “Did you know that McCain is a maverick?”
 
Clearly, there were some surprises in the plan, needed in order for the federal government to raise the necessary funding to cover its costs. “We have plans in the works for a Nigerian type email letter to go out over the Internets and the World Wide Webs. My key economic advisors tell me those work real well and make use of the new technologies as well as our very foreign friends overseas,” added McCain. Also in the works: a bake sale, a Tricky Tray, a garage sale, a ‘Tribute to Elvis’ show, and some cute kids in football uniforms standing outside supermarkets around the nation. “We need to pull together in a time of national crisis. I took on my own party. I was a POW, and I own seven houses, by the way. And you will know their names. Maverick.”
 
Governor Sarah Palin, campaigning at a rest stop just off Interstate 80 in Utah, added a hearty, “You betcha! John McCain’s a maverick”.

Joey Novick is an attorney, professional stand-up comedian, professional keynote speaker, and a former 12 year Councilman in Flemington, NJ. From 1996-2000, he served as the County Chair of the Hunterdon County Democratic Committee. As a stand-up comedian and improv actor, Joey has appeared on MTV, Comedy Central, Rascal's Comedy Hour and One Life to Live, and most recently, with "Laughing Liberally". He has opened in concert and at comedy club dates for such comedy notables as Jerry Seinfeld, Robert Klein, Lewis Black, Rosie O'Donnell and Ray Romano. He is currently developing a one-man show about life, laughter and local government in the Garden State, tentatively entitled, "Trentoon".

His blog, NJPoliticsUnusual.com, has been informing NJ's political insiders for almost "two-thirds of a fiftieth of a century," and has recognized by Campaigns & Elections and SNJ Business People. The New York Times, AP Newswire, Washington Post, Newark Star-Ledger, ABC News and National Public Radio have all been kind enough to mention his work in comedy and politics every now and then. Joey appears monthly on News-12's "Power & Politics", sharing his keen insights on NJ's elected officials, and has chaired a panel on political humor for the New Jersey State League of Municipalities every year since 1995. He has taken his political humor on the road across the nation, appearing at state municipal league conferences in New York, Maine, Connecticut, Nevada, West Virginia, New Mexico, Colorado, Kentucky and Rhode Island; as well as at the National League of Cities Conference. His mother, Pearl, lives in Florida, plays canasta almost every day, and is very glad Joey visits her on a regular basis.