Poll: Obama, Lautenberg headed toward big wins

The Great OB has changed the Galactic Republic USAmerica The Great Ob called the Hollywood Celebrities Council led by Oprah to an emergency meeting after He declared His victory in reforming The Peoples Republic USAmerica. The Great OB informed them about the state of The Peoples Republic. Suddenly, Ben Affleck ran into the Chamber screaming “The Great OB, The Great OB, I have bad news!” Abruptly interrupted The Great OB turned red on his face “What is it?” Ben Affleck collapsed on his knees. The Obama Guards had to help him stand up. “The Great OB, all the Cubans defected. All 50 thousand of the doctors asked for political asylum!” The Great OB laughed out loud “Those fools. Cuba is our ally. I will have them shut. No, they will work in the mines like those fools unionists who voted for Me.” “There is more The Great OB; apparently there is trouble in our Republic. There are armed militias fighting against the Farrakhan militia. The following states formed their own militias: Montana, Wyoming, Arizona, New Mexico, New York, New Jersey, Virginia, Kentucky. Many more are forming. Our Farrakhan militia cannot cope with it. We must send in the Obama Guard.” The Great OB was visibly annoyed “The Obama Guard guards Me, Michelle and my daughters you fool.” “We must implement the compulsory military service immediately for every working men in The Peoples Republic USAmerica.” Ben Affleck was ecstatic “You are the greatest leader of them all!” Oprah broke into tears “What will happen to our beloved The Peoples Republic USAmerica?” Samuel Jackson repeated “What will happen to our beloved The Peoples Republic USAmerica?” Ben Affleck and George Clooney chanted mindlessly “What will happen to our beloved The Peoples Republic USAmerica? What will happen to our beloved The Peoples Republic USAmerica? What will happen to our beloved The Peoples Republic USAmerica?” Minister Farrakhan ran into the Chamber “The US Army has arrived!” The Great OB visibly upset yelled at him “I sent them to Afghanistan you fool!” “They just parachuted around the White House!” screamed Minister Farrakhan. “Well, send in the Obama Guard” stated The Great OB. “They deserted right away!” screamed Minister Farrakhan. “We are finished” cried Steve Spielberg “I will not be able to complete my trilogy on the life of The Great OB.” Ben Affleck looked nervous. There were noises outside. A group of American soldiers broke through the door. “US Marines, US Marines!” The Great OB was stunned. Minister Farrakhan hid behind the sofa bed. Ben Affleck stood straight. Samuel Jackson and Steve Spielberg fell down. George Clooney cried. Oprah yelled at the Marines “Stop the noise. What are you doing here? Who are you?” “I am Captain Palin and this is major McCain. We are liberating the United States of America and are going to arrest you all.” The Great OB yelled “You fool, I am The Great OB, I am the Commander in Chief here. Lay down your weapons immediately. You are under arrest!” “Shut the f--- up” said Major McCain. “Let’s go, all of you!” ordered Captain Palin. There was no TV to record it. It was written in the annals of the Congressional hearings on the only Coup de’état in the history of the USA. President McCain pardoned Sen. Obama and lowered his sentence to a life in prison. Vice President Palin accepted the Purple Heart for her organization of the Alaska Freedom Militia that liberated States of Washington, Oregon, and California. She became the Commander in Chief of all militias in the USA. Barbara Streisand sang the national anthem.